Navigating Conflict With Close Friends: Addressing Racism, Misunderstandings, and Repair After 25 Years

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, Simon Goode is joined by Helen Jarvis to explore a real-life conflict between long-term friends that erupted over accusations of racism sparked by a controversial book. 

They discuss the emotional complexity of values-based disputes, the challenge of balancing honesty with relationship preservation, and practical steps for navigating these tense situations, whether as a participant or an "accidental mediator." 

Throughout their conversation, they emphasize the importance of slowing down, seeking to understand different perspectives, and using thoughtful, non-defensive communication to help repair and rebuild relationships.

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Helen's details:

Helen Jarvis 

ripplelearning.com.au 

Ripple Learning facilitates customised, dynamic, safe, and highly effective learning experiences that support workplaces to build the skills needed to navigate conflict, manage stress and maximise performance. 

We are a social enterprise, creating a ripple effect by directing 100% of profits to youth mental health charities.

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My details:

Simon Goode 

simongoode.com 

podcast@simongoode.com

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TIMESTAMPS: 

00:00 Conflict Skills & Resolution Insights

05:25 "Friendship Fallout Case Study"

08:27 "Bystander or Upstander?"

12:15 The Power of Choosing to Speak

15:25 "Choosing How to Engage"

19:41 Assumptions, Values, and Understanding

21:33 "Determining Goals and Relationships"

26:07 "Effective Conflict Resolution Approach"

28:27 "Listening to Understand Gemma"

30:48 Mediating While Maintaining Friendships

35:46 "Managing Stressful Conversations"

37:33 "Finding Voice and Impactful Language"

41:56 "Embracing Conflict with Self-Talk"

43:29 "Finding the Right Words"